I mean, I’ve known her for years! I have memories of her that I treasure and so I keep them safely in my heart. As young children we would hold each other by our sweaty, earthy little hands and we would try to race the wind. Our laughter still rings in my ears. I knew that we would be friends forever. In the heart and mind of a little girl I just knew that I loved her. I shared every single day with her. She was the keeper of my secrets and life was just so, so good.

I’m not really sure how it happens that close friends drift apart. That that same racing wind became the wind that scattered, separated us and sentenced us to become mere memories. And as wise people over the years have tried to console my occasional broken heart, they’ve reminded me that some people are in our lives but for a moment, others for just a season and some until the very end.

So, my thoughts aren’t about what I’m missing in my life and I don’t sit here, drinking this decadent spiced tea, lamenting the fish that got away…instead, it’s thinking about what skin I have in the game as I’ve let yet another friend slip into my memories. Did I place a label around their neck and decide what group they were in by some comment they’d made or the way that they voted? Did I judge them and take their inventory and decide their worthiness…did I imagine my life without their constant messiness? Did I forget what I had loved about them and about what, in their trust in me to love them no matter what; they’d shown me in their raw nakedness? What about me is so “perfect” that I can walk in their shoes and make decisions for them that they know nothing about? And when they fail me, in my arrogant expectation, why would I just wipe my figurative shoes and walk away?

 Have I forgotten how to love my friends and family without expectation of love in return? If, indeed they are toxic to my soul, I agree I need to wipe my feet and walk away. But why not sit for a moment and remember those good times?  Remember those moments that made us laugh and love and think how lucky we were that our paths had crossed in our journey that we call life. I want to be a kind and safe place for the people that I love. They can trust that their hearts are safe with me. I’m not naïve. I know that people change; life changes, and if, at the end of the day, too much separates you, by all means, follow the wind. But at least give it a try. Reach out, speak your truth and don’t forget to love. Namaste